When it's hard to show care ...

There are some people I find it really hard to show care to. Even though stuff happens to them, real shit, often again and again, sometimes I find it really hard to put myself in the position of the person offering care. The problem is that, whenever I visit or meet such people, I want to disagree with so much of what they say, and to challenge so many of their attitudes, that I find it really hard to concentrate, simply to listen to what they say in its own right. And there are people who seem to co-opt you into their world-view, who assume (by your silence) that you agree with them, that you know they are likely then to quote you as reinforcement for their view - even if you said nothing. Or to bring it back to me - even though I said nothing. But is that the very nature of care? We can't always control how it will be used. It will sometimes be draining. It will sometimes put us profoundly on the defensive; but we must simply listen and bear it.

And yet ... because there are times when we know it will be so hard, I can't help feeling that there's nothing wrong (at least some of the time) with not putting ourselves in that position. If I know I won't be much use in a particular situation, why put myself there?

And yet ... who am I to know whether I'll be useful or not? People will find my presence useful, and helpful, perhaps more than I'd have imagined, so long as I don't answer back! Oh, but god I need to be able to acknowledge when it's hard to show care ... you know the kind of person?